The Dust Settles

Things have finally cooled down around here--for the moment anyway--so I thought I'd do a quick post before I leave for the weekend. Everyone seems to be talking about Halloween costumes and I think most of us will be going as a Sexy Pirate, a Dirty Hooker, or Sexy, Dirty Pirate Hooker.

I usually try to put costumes together with stuff I already have in my closet (meaning I go as a Dirty Pirate Hooker every year). This method works for some people, but clearly, not everyone.

Like this poor woman(?). Clearly this err, individual did a last minute inventory of her closet and came up with flannel pants, a scarf, a cape, a backstage pass, some face paint and a handful of Tylenol gel caps. Put it together and you get...well, you know...you get...that. If I had to guess, I'd say she was the resident pill pusher of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft/first person to pass out at a party next to the crayola markers.

Or this guy, who has dressed himself like a tiger. Or a zombie. Or a tiger zombie. Truth be told, if there wasn't a date stamp on the picture, I would've just assumed this was the t-shirt that matched those sweet-ass NFL Team Hammer pants that were popular in the late eighties. But since it's 2003, there's really no excuse for this.

Even purchasing a costume is no guarantee that people will get what you are. Take this woman--what the hell is she supposed to be? Slutty Movie Theater Concession Stand Employee? Slutty Carrot? Slutty Construction Cone? Or did they run out of white fabric at the Slutty Nurse Factory?

I'm assuming that most elements of these costumes were purchased at the costume store, except of course, for the underoos. And speaking of the underoos, I now want to switch my mascara to kerosene and poke my retinas with lit matches. Um, sir, your girlfr--err--date appears to be smuggling a kiwi fruit. And while I was staring (in horror, of course) at her package, I couldn't help but notice the total ninja foot you've got going on in your unitard. Oh, the humanity!

With that, I've got to get out of here. I'll be at my desk all weekend staring at the 6-car pileup in his pants. But before I go, please check out this short film a good friend directed for the Apple Insomnia Film Festival. The contest is decided on the ratings given to the film, so if you could also rate it (and don't be a dick about it, either) I would greatly appreciate it. Click here to go to the gallery. Just search the gallery for the film "Carved" and it will pop up.

Have a great weekend, you Dirty Pirate Hookers!