One-Word Letters

As a writer and general enthusiast of the written word, you might be surprised to learn that I absolutely HATE having to write letters. HAAAAAAAATE. Still, they are an important (albeit archaic) communicative tool that I often find myself having to use. To that end, I've decided to make this chore as painless as possible by summing up my sentiments in single-word letters.

Regarding the value meal I received in which all three items were incorrectly made...

Dear Wendys,

FAIL!

Love,
Stephanie

Regarding my recent case of Strep throat and the cold I now have...

Dear Shoddy Immune System,

Hello?

Love,

Stephanie

Regarding the fact that the old crotches of Sex and the City are making another film...

Dear hags,

Stop.

Love,
Stephanie

Regarding his latest stunt and overall douchiness...

Dear David Blaine,

Honestly?

Love,
Stephanie

Regarding my $800 bill...

Dear Division of Water Idiots,

Pllllllllllllbbbbbbbbbbbtttthhhhht.

Love,
Stephanie


Regarding the guy who let his girlfriend sit on the toilet for two years and then serendipitously won $20,000 in the lottery...

Dear Karma,

Uhh...?

Love,
Stephanie