I've been late to work three days in a row. Did I oversleep? Nooooo. Did I spend too much time obsessing over my appearance? Noooo (it really doesn't take me too long to put on last night's jeans and not wash my hair.) So, you're probably wondering why I've been tardy all week. Aren't you? Just a little?
Sun glare. FREAKING SUN GLARE. According to the traffic bimbo on the radio, the reason I'm puttering down the interstate at an average of 7 mph is sun glare. Not a fiery, explodey, bloody, severed-limb-scattering car crash. Not a bridge collapse or deadly brush fire. Not even construction (and where I'm from, the roads are always under construction, even though there are still potholes the size of small aircraft every-freaking-where.)
No. I am in a four lane, bumper-to-bumper traffic jam because...ahem...the sun is bright? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Am I driving amid a sea of Powder people? Come on, you Vitamin D-hating sissies!
It's not that I enjoy driving directly into cornea-shearing sunlight. It's just that, being resourceful, I've found ways to deal with it. Sunglasses, for example, are a great way to combat the issue of sun glare and drive at a reasonable speed (which is over 50 mph on the freeway, if you were wondering). If you don't have sunglasses, pop into your local Big Lots and pick yourself up a pair. I guarantee that they're under $5 and probably have had only limited contact with insect parts or rat feces.
Don't have $5? Skip the sunglasses and just pull down your bloody visor. It may obscure your view a little bit, but not enough to slow you down to, say, Amish buggy speeds.
Don't have a visor? Squint your eyes a little. Drive in reverse. Better yet, kindly get your piece-of-crap car off the road and out of my way. Trade it in for a bike and ride that directly into oncoming traffic. You suck.
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